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Toothpaste caps and Knights in Shining White Armor.

Friday, June 16, 2006
written by Java Junkie

Today was a brutally tired day for me. And luckily, my eldest was here to pick up my pieces, so to speak. I laid down for a nap when Parker did and awoke at 2:00 this afternoon, Parker happily playing in the living room, his big brother watching over him. I tried for the rest of the day to keep up so that Lou could actually have a normal day and I did ok, but Lou still had to help. Mother nature or MY ambitious nature or both are just really picking a fight with me for the last couple days and they're kicking my butt.

I thought it was for this reason that there seemed to be some tension between Monkey and I tonight. I thought I was, quite honestly, being a bit hormonal and slightly on the bitchy side. I tried to be aware of what I was saying or doing but I kept seeming to step on Monkey's toes without trying or wanting to. After dinner and watching our TIVO'd
So You Think You Can Dance and retiring to our bedroom/office/game room I decided to apologize for being difficult to live with today. What I found out was that it wasn't today that was bothering Monkey. It was the post I made below.

Now before some of you get the wrong impression, Monkey wasn't upset that I had posted something a little critical about him. His point was 100% valid. He was upset that was the only thing I've posted about him on this blog and that those that don't know him except through this blog would have a rather disproportionate opinion of him. Or, in his words, I "made (him) sound like an asshole." And you know what? He's right. When you ONLY hear something negative about a person you tend to only think negatively about that person.. So I'm here to set the record straight.

My post was about what I call "toothpaste caps." Some of you may relate better to "underwear on the bathroom floor." When someone leaves the cap off the toothpaste night after night and it's just that one little thing that what one, who might otherwise be your Knight in Shining Armor, does that really irritates the crap out of you. And for the record, I probably leave my pajamas on the bathroom floor just as often as Monkey does. ;)

So let me tell you a few of the reasons I'm LUCKY to be with Monkey. For starters, the man simply has very little in the way of expectations from or of me. Either that means he knows me well enough that the things he would normally expect from someone he knows he doesn't need to expect from me or it means that he loves me unconditionally in the true sense of the word or it means a bit or a lot of both. I don't know. But what I do know is that when it's been a bit since I've felt up to doing my chores, such as mopping the kitchen floor or cleaning the bathrooms, he's never once complained. When I'm too tired to cook, he understands and somehow we figure it out.

He stepped up to the parenting plate with Lou, our eldest, only 4 years ago and has never once let me down. Granted, he was out of his element many times and there was a learning curve, but the man truly WANTED to learn it. He truly WANTED to be a good dad for Lou, not just date Lou's mom. He's been to every teacher conference, he's been involved in every parental decision, he's never said "I don't care" when trying to decide what was best for Lou. Hell, we live where we live because Monkey feels as strongly as I do that it was important for Lou to remain in the same school district that he's been for the last 3 years. He truly loves Lou and he truly loves Parker. To Monkey, they're just as much a part of his family as I am, individually or together as our children.

Monkey also does 100% of the grocery shopping. We've had to pick our household chores based on what I am capable of contributing. I can clean the bathrooms because I can do the sinks, toilets, tubs and floors on entirely different days if I need to. The laundry became his chore in our old apartment because the laundry room for our building was 3 floors below us and when I was pregnant for Parker, going up and down those stairs like that often put me into contractions. That's also a bit of why I didn't (too much) mind folding loads he had done. Although I do have to admit that it is a toothpaste cap that he almost never folds the loads he washes. But that's just how he is. He typically does not care if the t shirt he's wearing looks like it was a make shift rope in a tug of war contest between WWE superstars.

He works at a job that he's insanely over qualified for essentially doing manual labor that a, well, monkey could do, for the most part. There's no where for him to be promoted to since it's just him, the owner, and one other guy that's worked there for 15 years. He does this to put food on our table and a roof over our heads. Oh, and to keep our eldest in the same school system he's been in for the last 3 years.

And lastly, Monkey loves me no matter what I look like. I often joke with him that I could roll in poo and he would still think I was beautiful. And you know what, I believe this 100%. Not because he has some sick fetish with poo (ok peanut gallery, no poo throwing monkey jokes, please) but because he truly loves me with all of his heart. And I, him.

I really could go on forever. I could. But you guys would either get bored or sick to your stomach or both. So in short, for the record, my Knight in Shining Armor just happens to be a Monkey. A Monkey that sometimes leaves the figurative toothpaste cap off and doesn't throw poo.
10:54 PM ::
  • For what it is worth from a total stranger, I never thought anything bad about Monkey from what you wrote. It just sounded like you were having a rough day and needed to share. The ones we love the most always get the brunt of our crankiness! Monkey sounds like a great guy, and you sound pretty cool yourself.

    By Blogger radioactive girl, at 1:25 PM  
  • Monkey's got nothing to worry about. Anyone that has ever truly been in love would recognize the love behind your frustration in your previous post. Although in previous posts you've not explicitly extolled his virtues in protracted detail, it is *very* obvious how much you love him - and why. He's a great guy who loves you very much.

    But he's also a guy and, being one myself (guy, that is, not great) I have to admit that we're human and prone to forgetting things like putting the toothpaste cap back on when we're done. I've had to hide Mrs. Attentive's toothbrush *plenty* of times... ;)

    I took your previous post as simply the frustrated expression of a person in need. You asked for help ahead of time. You were told that the cavalry would be there when you needed it. When the time came, the promised cavalry never showed up. It was a specific incident, not an ongoing pattern. It was as much an expression of your own frustration at not being able to take care of the indians by yourself as it was your being upset at the missing cavalry.

    So no worries. It all seemed pretty healthy to me.

    By Anonymous attentive, at 11:11 AM  
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