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I am Jack's lack of self-motivation

Sunday, July 09, 2006
written by Monkey

Wikipedia defines motivation as the initiation, direction, intensity and persistence of behavior.

I'm starting to scare myself with my lack of motivation to do normal everyday things. Example, getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. I've been getting out of bed every single day for work or school for over 20 years but now it seems like the hardest thing in the world to do.
Instead of going out to the car to get the babies diaper bag I'd rather just go to the closet and get a diaper and a few loose wipes.
I'd rather lay on the floor staring up at the ceiling then get up to make the baby a bottle.
I'd rather keep going to the same shit job that I hate every single day then take the time to send my resume off to places people tell me are hiring.
Instead of making a dinner that may only consist of tossing some mix into the oven I'd rather order a pizza.
This has been going on for quite a while now and I wish I could figure out why.
I see other people that seem to be very motivated to do things, my father for example built a deck on his house a few weeks ago by himself where I can't even get out to the backyard to take out the garbage without a struggle.
I have no motivation and I wish I knew where I could get some.
9:29 PM ::
  • Believe me when I say I know exactly how you feel. It's been a rough couple of weeks for all of us. I need to ask you a personal question, please understand that I only ask because I care about you and Sissy and the boys-are you taking an antidepressant right now? If not, please consider asking your doctor to prescribe one. I know, that means finding the motivation to call the doctor, go to the appointment and fill the prescription, but please do it.

    If you are taking one, it might be time to ask the doctor for a dosage check. You may need to bump it up or add a second medication right now. Again, please know that I am only suggesting this because I really do care.

    I know we usually only talk to each other for a second before you pass the phone to Sissy, but if you ever want to call and chat, or email me, please don't hesitate. I've been dealing with feelings like you described for most of my life, so I can definitely lend a sympathetic ear. Take Care.

    By Anonymous Elizabeth, at 12:29 AM  
  • Monkey, the only thing that keeps me going sometimes is to keep my responsibility to my son in the forefront of my mind. I slip all the time but I don't want him to grow up with "major issues" because of who I am. He looks up to me, he cares about me, he watches me to learn how people are supposed to go about living. So sometimes... that gets me up.

    We care about you and can relate to your struggle. I wish I knew the answer. They say, you can only find the answer within yourself. I'm still looking, but perhaps, perhaps I am closer now that ever. Time will tell.
    Carry On-Manowar

    The North Star Always Guides Me
    When Winter Skies Are Gray
    And I Wait For Sun When All Are One
    I Shall Not Betray

    Calling At Me
    I’m Waiting
    When All Are Led Astray

    Carry On My Sons Forever
    Carry On When I Am Gone
    Carry On For When Day Is Long
    Forever Carry On
    For As Long As We’re Together Then
    Forever Carry On

    Darkness All Around Us
    We Don’t Close Our Eyes
    No One’s Gonna Ground Us
    We Were Born To Fly
    Comin At Us No Stopping
    Born To Amplify

    Carry On My Sons Forever
    Carry On When I Am Gone
    Carry On For When Day Is Long
    Forever Carry On
    For As Long As We’re Together Then
    Forever Carry On

    Yea Be My Brother
    Fight To Stay Alive
    All The World Can’t Change Us
    With All Their Burned Out Jive
    Come Get Us Now Were Waiting
    We Won’t Run And Hide

    Carry On My Sons Forever
    Carry On When I Am Gone
    Carry On For When Day Is Long
    Forever Carry On
    For As Long As We’re Together Then
    Forever Carry On
    For As Long As Were Together Then
    Forever Carry On

    Now Were All Together
    Let’s Sing A Fighting Song
    One Hundred Thousand Riders
    We Can’t All Be Wrong
    Comin At Us No Stopping
    Always Carry On

    Carry On My Sons Forever
    Carry On When I Am Gone
    Carry On When Day Is Long
    Forever Carry On
    For As Long As We’re Together Then
    Forever Carry On

    Carry On
    Forever Carry On

    By Blogger nmariluna, at 8:44 AM  
  • You have been through a lot lately, and I think it would be odd if you weren't lacking motivation! I have been feeling the same way for a while, and finally figured out that my body/mind are just tired! Tired of thinking, tired of feeling stress, etc. I agree with Elizabeth though that if it keeps up, you might want to ask a doctor for some help. The antidepressants these days are supposed to be amazing. My best friend is on some (her doctor prescribed some to work together) and is feeling better than she has in years if ever in her life. I'll be thinking of your family (strange to know a stranger prays for you and thinks of you often, huh?) The wonders of the internet!

    By Blogger radioactive girl, at 12:12 PM  
  • This post makes me worried for you. I think Elizabeth is right, this sounds like far more than sadness.

    We only go around once, we should do our best to make it count.

    By Blogger Jenny, at 12:17 PM  
  • All I can say is that I'm here for you babe. I love you. You have been my rock through this hard time in my life, the LEAST I can do for you is bring my sword and magic helmet to your corner. If there is ANYTHING I can do for you please please please don't hesitate to ask.

    Radioactive Girl - We pray a lot for you, too :) I don't think it's strange, I think it's wonderful.

    Jenny/Elizabeth, I think you might be right.

    CC .. Don't forget to listen to your big sister :) I love you.

    By Blogger Java Junkie, at 1:02 PM  
  • I appreciate everyones posts. actually I am on an anti-depressant although I haven't been able to find a good enough balance yet obviously :p

    By Blogger Monkey, at 10:32 PM  
  • Monkey, not to jump on the bandwagon, but I've seen a number of folks I know go through the same sort of scenario. Some were not obvious what instigated it and some were clearly related to things like having lost a job. In pretty much all of the cases where the people experienced an overwhelming lack of motivation to take action, depression was found to be the/a factor. You've had a lot of changes that have happened in the last few years that could easily leave you experiencing depression, and factors have been added lately. The changes in your sleep patterns could also be impacting things, so I'd definitely recommend that you get to a doctor and work to get the dosage right. If you can find a doctor that includes nutrition and supplements as part of their domain of interest, you may find that there are some nutritional changes or supplements (like tryptophan or inositol) that might help quite a bit. It isn't something you should beat yourself up about. You aren't lazy. Depression is an illness and needs treatment. It also usually responds pretty well to treatment (drugs, nutrition, and/or supplements). Untreated (or mistreated) depression is someting to be concerned about.

    By Anonymous attentive, at 2:37 PM  
  • Remember a couple of weeks ago, I called you just to talk? You were busy running the shop by yourself, and couldnt talk. Why I called I got to thinking about how Proud I am of you and the person you have become, and I wanted to tell you. So, I think now is the time. to say "your a son to be proud of". You may not be rich, have the greatest job, have a body builder body. You turned into a great man in my eyes. Your responsible, helpful, never rude or mean. I really can depend on you. I truely like you. Not, just love you... I know your in a slump... everyone goes through this. When you get tired of the way things are... You'll shake things up.. and get r done :)
    PS: call me if you want to talk about it..

    By Anonymous Mom, at 8:06 PM  
  • as everyone has said above... this, my friend, is called depression. yes, talk to your doctor. But also try to identify a few things you've enjoyed and make the time for them. Sometimes it helps to get out of the slump, which can become a routine in and of itself. And we all know it's hard to shake a routine.

    By Blogger kittenpie, at 11:57 AM  
  • If it's not just the regular old blues (which it doesn't sound like), take a look at depression or funky thyroid signs. My family's got a history of hypo-thyroid (I think that's the term) where it just stops working when we hit 30yo, and most of what you listed bave been their symptoms. Good luck finding a solution that works for you and your family!

    By Anonymous Lanna, at 3:51 PM  
  • You're speaking my language right now. There is a mess of stuff to do, and I can't get motivated.

    My excuse to the family is "I don't wanna."

    It's very mature of me.

    By Blogger Mocha, at 8:49 PM  
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